It is not as if the rain is bitter
Nor my tears, not that I ever
Shed them for you. Could I
Have loved you, as I had
Wanted, but there’s something
About this rain, so refreshing
And the little love between us
Lies perishing under its
Lashing distaste.

Could I have loved you?
The rain around me grows
Harder, filthier, pouring
In generous torrents, spilling
Into the mirror glazed lake
With a gentle venom
Licking my skin and waking
Me to the impossibility
Of our half-hearted sin.

This rain, this cold October
Day, brings me back
To my childish self
Sheltering in the fishing
Hut, waiting for the shower
To pass, but it has not passed,
It cannot pass, this storm on
My heart, I remember when
Things were simpler, when
Love was love and unconditional
And not some fleeting phantom
Fancy, disappearing with
The rolling clouds departing,
Clearing the lighting sky.

The rain has gone, and the
Wind has changed
And still, I am mourning.
But the rain has gone,
The day is clearing, the
Sunlight peeps, bringing
A gentle warning, love is
Love when it is warming,
I’ll close my eyes, and wait
For spring, wrap up my heart
In wool and keep it safe, hibernate,
Until we can emerge in the
Cleaner clearer light of spring.

Rose Staveley-Wadham